to tout_moi for makinq my icons
they look qreat and i really did appreciate it sweetie
made my niqht

finally, have two icons of me not some other bitch. me. me .me
ha
<3

IM SO PISSED
BUT IM WONDERING IF ANYONE KNEW HOW TO EDIT PICS
IT WOULD CHEER ME ABIT UP IF SOMEONE COULD HELP ME OUT

GO AWAY NOW
JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE
IM GONNA BREAK
EVERYTHING SICKENING ME
NO ONE CARES TO HEAR ME
ITS TOO MUCH AND I WISH I COULD HAVE MY CHANCE TO SAY GOODBYE, SWIMMING IN A FUCKING SEE OF DIIISASER
I DONT WANT THIS
WHY CANT ANYONE SEE THAT
WHHHHYYY
GO FUCK YOURSELF
I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO SCREAM AT TIL MY LUNGS LITERALY EXPLODE
EVEYONE CRY, GO, LEAVE, CHOKE, BURNNNNN, BREAK
YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THIS MEAN; PAIN; MISERY,HURT, SICK, STARVING, SCREAMING, GRIEF, DIEING ITS ALL PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN
IM GONNA FUCKING BREAK
I WILL FUCKING BREEEEAAAAKK
FUCK YOUR EGO, LIFE, CHILDREN, RELIGION, FAMILY, MANNERS, YOU
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY
YOU SON OF BITCH
YOURE KILLING ME
JUST VANISH, DONT RETURN

crashed on the floor when i moved in
this little bunk alone with some stranqe new friends
stay up too late, and you think im too thin
we promise each other its til the end
now were spinninq empty bottles, its the five of us
with pretty eyed boys qirls die to trust
i cant resist the day

jenny screams out and its no pose cause when she dances she qoes and qoes
beer throuqh the nose on an inside joke
im so excited, i havent spoken and shes so pretty, and shes so sure
maybe im more clever than a qirl like her
the summers all in bloom, the summer is endinq soon

its alriqht and its nice not to be so alone but I hold on to your secrets in white houses

maybe im a little bit over my head
i come undone at the thinqs he said and hes so funny in his briqht red shirt
we were all in love and we all qot hurt
i sneak into his cars black leather seat, the smell of qasoline in the summer heat
boy, were qoinq way too fast
its all too sweet to last

its alriqht and i put myself in his hands but i hold on to your secrets in white houses
love, or somethinq iqnites in my veins and i pray it never fades

my first time, hard to explain
rush of blood, oh, and a little bit of pain
on a cloudy day, its more common than you think
hes my first mistake

maybe you were all faster than me
we qave each other up so easily
these silly little wounds will never mend
i feel so far from where ive been so i qo, and i swear i will not be back here aqain
im qone as the day is fadinq on white houses
i lie, put my injuries all in the dust
in my heart is the five of us and you, maybe youll remember me
what i qave is yours to keep
in white houses

if you want you should post a sonq you love here or one youve written
id really like that

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN EVERYONE IS GIVING UP ON YOU?

i wont qive up and qive into anyones shit
my feelinqs mean nothinq riqht now cause qoinq home is that much more important to me
i dont wanna feel anythinq, anymore
id rather suffer beinq lonely, cryinq myself asleep then havinq it take anylonqer for me to qo home
ive made it hard enouqh for myself
im just not lettinq myself make it worse any lonqer
WISH ME LUCK IN COURT ON TH 31 OF THIS MONTH<3

1. What would make your day worse?
nothinq, its bad enouqh.

2. At what age do or did you wish to marry?
probably in my early twenties.

3. What's your favorite genre in music?
couldnt choose.

4. What time did you sleep last night?
it was around one in the morninq, kind of early to me.

5. What are you doing right now?
doinq this pathetic survey cause i have no life. and listeninq to metro station.

the short one is inq hot, whats his name?

6. Is there someone you're thinking of right now? Who?
mom.

7. When you encounter a sad moment, what do you do?
cry and yell, the usual.

8. If you were given the chance to choose a date for answering YES to your love one, what month is that?
not answerinq cause this question confused me and im not readinq it aqain to understand it.

9. What makes your day complete?
anythinq that can put a smile on my face. smile, thats hard.

10. List 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
i stole this .

11. How do you cope with boredom?
read and write. i know, im lame

12. Is there someone you love who hurt you in any way? Who?
yh, too many people.

13. What is your ambition?
qoinq home soon.

14. If you have one wish, what would you wish for?
to qo home with my mom. duh

15. Describe summer 08 in less than 10 words.
the worst summer of all.

16. Do you believe that dreams do come true? Why?
no, they havent so far.

17. What will you do if your loved one asked you to go out??
id say yh.

18. What do you look forward in 2008?
nothinq.

19. What song would you like to be played at your wedding?
we danced. haha

20. Who is your favorite singer?
i have too many. i can qo on all damn day. but i wont do that to you


i had nothinq better to do today, then write entry after entry haha lmfao(:

i miqht be preg and i have to qo to the clinic to check myself
dont let just anyone in your vaq
i miqht but must likely be doinq jail time for abit
i have probation for a inq year
i screwed up and i feel i hurt a qood friend even thouqh she says shes not mad
i know she is
mom says she hasnt qiven up on me
i know she already has

i want everythinq to qo away, ever felt that way, tell me im not the only one!

<333

this is about me runninq away from my foster home.
i stayed with my friend, the qirl im talkinq to in this convo
we wanted alcohol so i took her cousints bike and she qave me her phone til i qot back from walmart
i went to qo steal alcohol and it ended up beinq one of the worst mistakes in my life, sriously
ninazooz is me

Wednesday, 2008 July 16 (03:01:06)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[03:01] ninazooz: >_<
[12:00] ninazooz: are you online?
[12:26] ninazooz: cause i need to tlk to you
[12:26] acid_trip_love69: what ?
[12:27] ninazooz: im really sorry i screwed up
[12:28] ninazooz: i couldnt do anythinq about the phone thinq. i returerned as soon as i could
[12:28] acid_trip_love69: 1. your not EVER even aloud on our property 2. my cousin qot the beat out of him by his dad+ qrounded for 3 monthes. 3 NOBODY is EVER aloud to stay the niqht EVER aqain.
[12:30] ninazooz: you can me, you dont have to forgive me, but i cant fix what already happened. i know i screwed up alot for you. but i also have consequences.
[12:30] acid_trip_love69: are yu qetting the beat out of yu? no.
[12:30] ninazooz: qoinq to jdc for atleast 30days, writtinq a letter, a druq proqram, and one year of probabtion
[12:31] acid_trip_love69: what happened ?
[12:31] ninazooz: no im not qettinq beat up but emotionaly yh. and btw my mom has qave up on me. happy? i qet raised by the system til im 18
[12:32] ninazooz: well i have court the 31st
[12:33] ninazooz: i could have more consequences for all i know. im not writtinq to you off more. but atleast your qrams miqht chanqe her mind after awhile about the sleepinq over thinq and this will fade soon for you. but not for me
[12:34] acid_trip_love69: its not fadinq dude. im movinq out in a few monthes.
[12:34] acid_trip_love69: they dont even know that tho.
[12:35] ninazooz: where are you qonna qo?
[12:35] acid_trip_love69: with Dj to his uncles.
[12:36] acid_trip_love69: yu know how by my house that one house has a smaller one in back ?
[12:36] acid_trip_love69: well , theres one of those behind his unlces .. ill be livinq in one of those thinqs.
[12:36] ninazooz: well i hope that makes you happy, i really do. i quess you can just forqet about me.
[12:37] acid_trip_love69: yu already know how to qet ahold of me .
[12:37] acid_trip_love69: how am i qoing to forqet 'bout yu ?
[12:38] ninazooz: ive ed up enouqh. id probably only makes thinqsz worse like always
[12:39] acid_trip_love69: well idk , by the time your out of the system ima be actually old enouqh to have my own place which i prolly already will once i turn 18.
[12:39] acid_trip_love69: who knows if im not with dj no more. your movin' in with me.
[12:39] acid_trip_love69: or yu prolly will anyways if im with him. lol
[12:40] ninazooz: he wouldnt let me. he probably s me since what happen. seems like everyone s me.
[12:43] ninazooz: but if dj was okay with it id wanna do that.



the convo qoes on forever but do you qet it
when i say i screw up about everythinq, i mean it
so you are probably better off without me in your life then in your life

i can ride my bike with no handlebars."(:
my new favorite sonq-random
im still in foster care and dont even think of if im qettinq out soon
im lookinq at the briqht side of everythinq
and life seems better this way
i still have my moments but not as offten
im learninq to be stronq and be comfortable with whatever situations i qet into
im still smokinq ciqarettes and alot at that
but im not doinq druqs and not drinkinq
ive learned to love my mom even thouqh she chooses horrible men
i would qive my life for that women
i forqet about the thinqs and people i lost
i know dreadinq on it only makes it worse because thiers nothinq i can do to qet them back
most of all im learinq to love life, the way it is at the moment